Why am I like this? Why? If there was a god who dictated how every single human being is (which there isn't), why would that god create me? Dictate me to be as I am. What is the fucking point of this all?
Forgive me for all that I have done. For all the lies I spout forth. For... everything. I would love to be able to love you, but quite clearly I can not. Before long the feelings disappear. And then, before long, I will start feeling myself lonely again. And the pining for you begins anew. … Continue reading Forgive me
I doubt that she will want to get together for the third time. She is the only one who has ever admitted that she has feelings for me. One female friend admitted to having had feelings for me, but not anymore. Not after getting to know me. There are a lot of women that I … Continue reading Ei ketään / No-one
But I can't be in a relationship. I just can't. I don't know how to. I would like to be with her, but I've seen how it goes after a while -- all turns to shit. Because I'm a depressed piece of shit. I miss her. I miss the closeness, the physical and emotional sensation … Continue reading Loneliness causes anxiety
I used to have a girlfriend. Amazing, I know. Me, having a girlfriend. Someone who actually found me attractive. Someone who actually wanted to be with me. And then I went ahead and ended it. Because I am weird like that. Single for almost 26 years (meaning I had never been in a relationship before), and … Continue reading How things used to be
Tahdon levätä, tahdon silmät ummistaa En nousta vähään aikaan Uni tullessaan saa tuoda veljen mukanaan En palaa tähän aikaan. Come, sweet Death One last caress.
Simple as that. I don't want to live this life anymore. I wish that I had never existed. Everyone whom I have touched -- proverbially -- during my life would most likely enjoy their lives more had I never even been there. Or, perhaps, they wouldn't. But in any case, I have not brought joy … Continue reading I hate my life