A message I never had the courage to send.

​Just remember this feeling… emptiness.

Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to really be in love. I doubt it feels like this. Every time I fall for someone it fills me with anxiety. I doubt it’s supposed to feel like this.

It’s funny, at one point a former tenant had really fallen for me, but now she’s allegedly already over it. Allegedly. This makes me think of my own experiences, because it feels like that whenever I get infatuated with someone it takes years to get over the eventual rejection, and it takes a new infatuation as well.

There was that thing with S–, and for a while I thought I had found the one to get me over you. But it was not so. Even when I was with her I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And now she isn’t interested in me anymore.

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